Im struggling being the onli gurl in da house!!!!!!! My mom left yesterday n so far theres been no major problems but i just can't really believe shes gone..........I went to work yesterday and a million n one people from my school work there but it was fun n a LONG day i worked from 1:45-10:30

Danecia is giving me a hard time b/c i've been hanging out with Q cause on Saturday i went over Jackies house n rode their w/ her n Q n we passed Danecia in da car n she was quick o call me n be like ebony where r u going . I had fun at Jacks house she went out somewhere n me n Q basically chilled there w/ my godsisters hes really sweet i like him but then agian i don't cause everyone expects me 2 even jacks mom was giving me the 3rd degree about him so the next time i see danecia shes like so what happened at Jackies house n i said nothing. Then she overheard that me Q Nikki n Jack we're going out togther that night n she was mad about that!!! First of all i just wanna be like D Q does not like you he doesn't even remeber her name but i'm not mean so i keep that one to myself.

BUt in the end i didn't get to go out w/ Q n Jackie after all cause my mom was leaving and she wanted me to spend her lastnight in town w/ her. But jack called n was like Q wants to kno y im not hanging out w/ him tonight so i told him i got him next w/e so i'm counting down the days.........

This w/e was well i guess i could say interesting but not in a good way.....we went to Pa n while we were up there Sabrina was like Ebony, J is here..........sure enough he was. I thought that after last summer that was the last time i'd see him. He came over to talk and I was telling myself Ebony don't fall for it don't listen to anything he has to say

But next thing I know we're walking around and talking I'm wearing his hat and he puts his new number in my phone.......I keep forgetting that J hurt me and he hurt me bad He keeps feeding me all his bull............. talking about how much he missed me and how much he wants me and what not......

Later we ended up in his car we were talking....... he keeps saying how happy he is that we're together...it gets silent then he kisses me it goes on for a few mintues and I keep thinking in my mind y am I doing this do I really want to get hurt agian I kno i can't trust him so i pull away and telling I have to go. He says that he'll drive me back instead he lets me drive his car and when we get there he holds me from behind and kisses me agian and is like come back later i tell him i will but i didn't

Sunday i avoided him all day and he called that night we talked for a lil bit but he n tony were on there way to Va so we didn't really sit down n discuss wat was up w/ us.......even tho he had already told a few people that we were talking agian........then he called me on monday saying he wanted me to drive up n spend the day with him or even come up to Ephesus one Saturday n chill....... I swear this nigga must have amnesia cause he fucking traded my ass in for the other chick and now he wants to come running back. I can't deal w/ this shyt I haven't talked to him since monday and i really don't want to cause i kno he can say all the right things and make me fall for him, break my heart n keep moving. But it so damn hard to not want him i'm trying but i'm failing......... Niggas work my nerves........

Well yea its been a long time but i didn't go to school today on the last day but everyone else did so i was a little bored.......I got my license last friday i've been going a few places its just so much better to drive when ur parents aren't nagging right next to you..........I have a job and I have a job interview toady at 4..........

 I just found out yesterday that my mom is going to Iraq.........for a whole year...............shes going to miss my whole senior year and its looking like she won't be able to even go to my graduation.........Its really idk im like so mad right now b/c its not even fair!!! y does it have to be my mom???? They blpw shit up there like everyday and even tho she and everyoneelse says she'll be allright they don't kno that!!ANd it'll be like I wont she my mom basically for 2 years cause when she comes back i have to turn around and go to college..............